Honoring Lost Loved Ones on Your Wedding Day

Your wedding day is soon approaching and you simply cannot stop thinking about someone, a loved one you wish could have at least lived long enough to see you get married to your soul mate. The more you think about it, the more it hurts. You knew it would be like this, but had hoped the heartache would not be quite so agonizing. While a wounded heart cannot easily be mended, and lost loved ones cannot be brought back, there are still many ways to honor their memory during your special day.

Short Speech

There are several subtle additions that can be made to your ceremony or reception if you’d rather keep things quiet and sentimental. But if you’d prefer something more conspicuous, a speech can be made in their honor or place settings be left open with a simple reminder of the deceased. There are plenty of options that will provide loving honor and be sure to create misty eyes all around for those closest to the dearly parted.

Small Token

Adding a little “flair” to your wedding can be a sophisticated and understated way to remember a cherished one. Use your sister’s favorite color as one of your wedding colors, include your aunt’s favorite flower in your arrangements, or serve your cousin’s favorite dessert. Create custom pocket squares for the groomsmen with the initials of a deceased loved one. Attach a treasured flower or pin that reminds you of your mother to each bridesmaid’s dress or to the bride’s bouquet. Leave an empty chair with a single flower on it for each loved one that has passed, or a vase at the altar filled with a flower for each. Instead of giving wedding favors, make a monetary donation to an association or organization that does research and/or treatment for a specific disease that took a loved one’s life (ie. Susan G. Komen for the Cure, American Diabetes Association, etc). If you’d like to honor someone privately, take the bride’s bouquet and place it on the grave of one who has passed following the ceremony or reception.

In Memory Of

For something a bit more obvious, write an “in memory of” note in your wedding program. Add his or her name into speeches, or say a simple prayer for those who could not make it. Have a single candle burning or small framed picture at a reception table. Hand out an item that reminds you of your loved one’s life; a handkerchief at the entrance because your grandmother always carried one around, or a cigar at the bar because your grandfather was known for always smoking cigars. If you are trying to honor multiple people, it’s probably best to go with something more subtle so that the day doesn’t become a somber one.

Keep It Lighthearted

Whatever you decide to do in memory of those no longer here on Earth, try not to dwell on it or make a huge scene. You want your wedding to be a joyous occasion, not a memorial service. While you want to show your love and honor your loved ones that have passed, the focus should be on the jubilant circumstance of the joining of two families. Remember that it is ok to shed tears; happy tears for the momentous occasion, and a tear for those lost. But always keep the main focus on your special day and create memories that will last a lifetime.

Photo by puresolitude